A Hidden Past
by smile-clarenet
Summary: They turned their backs on me, just like she did. All I wanted was to be able to prove myself to them, to show them I was still one of them. They told me my time was up without even giving me a chance. All I wanted was one chance.
1. When I Get Where I'm Going

**Author's Note:** I've finally managed to get a decent version of this one written! I started a cars version a while back, but that's one seems to have come to a halt. I wrote this version (with different names) for FictionCentral. It seemed to go down well there, so I'm posting a cars version of it here. The characters are humanised in here, as I would have to change it a lot to turn them into the cars we know so well.

The titles of the chapters are actually song titles. They seem to fit pretty well with the chapters, which is why I used them. I'll say at the end who the artist of that particular song is.

* * *

**A Hidden Past**

**Chapter 1 – When I Get Where I'm Going**

Thunder rolled through the valley. A fork of lightning lit the sky, briefly illuminating the deep puddles on the road. I let my car sit for a moment before I tried to get it going again. The rain hammered on the roof of the vehicle. With no supplies to hand, I knew it would be a long night.

I had passed a sign around a mile back, but there was no sign of life. I wasn't able to see the words on the sign, just that there was something written on it.

Rain was rare in the desert…so was help. I removed the keys from the ignition after another failed attempt. I was going nowhere, and I had all night to think about it. The whole reason why I'd hit the road in the first place was to get absolutely nowhere. They had turned me out of the only job I had ever known mere hours ago. I'd been on the road since then. I'd not even returned home first.

Another flash of lightning lit up the sky, shortly followed by an even louder rumble of thunder. There was no other choice, I would just have to wait the storm out, but without the engine running, there was no heating in the car. I pulled my jacket from the back seat and wriggled into it. It didn't help much, but it was better than nothing. I hoped the storm wasn't going to last long. The cold set my cough off again. It had come and gone a lot over the last two years. So much for staying warm and sheltered.

* * *

The storm finally blew itself out around one in the morning. I tried to start the car again, but still I had no success. It was just a blank, black mass in front of me. There really wasn't anything. I hadn't felt this alone for a while, and that was saying something. I sighed lightly. Walking would get me warm again, but I really didn't want to abandon the car. I wasn't able to push it at all due to old injuries though, and I didn't really want to sit in the cold any longer. I opened the door slowly and stepped out. The road had turned to mud after all the rain. I locked the car, pocketed the keys and set off into the night. 

I was very glad I always kept a torch with me, and even more glad that the batteries still worked. At least I wasn't completely in the dark.

* * *

I was walking for some time before I found the town. It wouldn't have taken me long to reach if I'd been in the car…oh well. I needed the exercise anyway.

Despite the late hour (I was sure it was gone two in the morning), there were people gathered in what appeared to be a café. Gas lamps sat on every table inside the building, and weak floodlights lit the road. I guessed they'd had some sort of power cut.

I stumbled across the parking lot, glad of the tarmac, and into the café. All faces turned towards me as the door shut with a gentle tinkling noise. That was the last thing I remembered.

* * *

"How is he?"

"He's a fighter. I'm surprised he's survived the night. He was very ill when he found us. Did you find a vehicle yet?"

"There's a 50s Hudson about a mile out; Mater's bringing it in. There's no way to tell if the car belongs to this guy or not though."

"He was wearing a racing jacket."

"Perhaps. The car is a little battered. I've never seen the damage racing can do at close quarters."

The voices were faint. Everything hurt, including the old injuries. The only part of me I seemed able to move was my eyes. I opened them slowly and looked around the room. It was quite large, and very white. I became aware of a rather loud bleeping noise in my right ear. That was when the tubes and wires attached to my body became apparent. I wondered for a moment if I'd crashed again, until the memory of the night before caught up.

"I'll want to speak to him when he's well enough, Jason."

"I'll let you know when he's fit."

A door creaked nearby. I closed my eyes once more and gave in to the weariness in my body.

* * *

The next time I woke it was dark outside. Lamps had been lit in the room and there was a figure sitting at the desk in the corner. I recognised him as one of the men from the café. I rolled onto my side and cursed quietly.

"Lay still, sir. You need to rest."

"I'm fine." I croaked and made to sit up.

The man was beside me in an instant. "Sir, please, you must lie down. You've been very ill. Don't make me get the Sheriff in here."

The threat of a police officer got me to lie down again. I knew I had been speeding in order to get here from the coast of California in a day. I was surprised the police on the highways hadn't caught me.

"Thank you, sir."

"Doc." I muttered. "My name is Doc."

"What did you do to you r car?" The doctor wrote something on the clipboard hanging off the end of the bed.

"Crashed."

"When?"

"Couple of years ago."

* * *

He made me stay in the hospital for another two days before letting me go. I had, somewhat unwillingly, done what he had asked. The longer I could go without seeing a police officer, the better. I quickly learned the doctor was called Jason Brooke. He asked me my full name on a number of occasions, and asked if I had any family. I refused to tell him anything besides my first name and what injuries I had sustained in the crash. Another thing he wanted to know was how I had crashed, and where it had happened. Once again, I refused to tell him.

I quite liked getting to see the town in daylight. Since the storm, the weather had been hot and sunny. My car, parked outside the small surgery part of the hospital building, had accumulated a thin layer of dust. I wondered for a moment if there was anywhere around that had a car wash. I then reflected that it might be better to leave it. They didn't need to know who I really was, it wasn't important any more.

The buildings in the town were just as dusty as my car, and some were looking run-down. I wondered when they'd last had any visitors. The road was just as deserted as it was some nights previously. I followed Jason along what appeared to be the main road to the café. I recognised most of the face, though one or two were new to me.

"Felling better, sir?" The lady behind the bar smiled at me.

"Much." I looked around nervously. They weren't looking at me this time around. "Where is everyone?"

"Oh they don't come by here any more. It's just us folks in the town. Makes for a quiet existence. Except when Sarge and Fillmore get into one of their arguments of course. So what'll it be, sir?"

"Just a coffee, and please, call me Doc."

"Take a seat then, Doc. I'll be right with you."

I looked around the café. There was someone sitting a every one of the tables. I could tell straight away who owned the VW minivan. There was only one man in the building that could fit that vehicle.

"Doc!"

I looked over at Jason. He was sitting with another man in the far corner. I went over to them and perched on the edge of the free chair.

"Relax, Doc." Jason chuckled. "We don't bite. Oh, this is Sheriff Burnell."

The Sheriff didn't look too pleased to be introduced to me. The feeling was mutual. He glanced at me and reached for his jacket.

"Excuse me." He said and headed out the doors.

A few minutes later a police car passed on the way out of the town.

"What's up with him?" I asked as the waitress brought my drink over to me.

"Oh don't mind him; he's always been like that." She put the drink down. "Anything else, gents?"  
"No thanks, Flo." Jason replied. He waited for Flo to leave us before he spoke again. "Sheriff has always been distant. He's a lot like you really. He won't say where he's from, or why he's come out so far."

"Things happen to people." I sighed.

"You know, it might help if you talk about it."

"Yeah, maybe. "I downed the rest of my coffee and left without saying another word.

I caught the look on Jason's face as I turned in the opposite direction to Sheriff. I knew he would ask me about that moment again. I also knew I wouldn't tell him any time soon. I didn't need that sort of attention. Besides, it was much too late for my problem to be fixed.

I turned my back on the town and walked a short way into the desert. I found shade at the base of an interesting rock formation, and there I spent the rest of the day.

* * *

I was still there some hours later when sunset arrived. I heard the roar of a car engine coming closer and then silence once again. I had followed the shade around the rocks so I could no longer see the path back to the town.

Something crunched towards me and a figure appeared around the side of the rocks. I watched him looking around for a moment before I said anything.

"Are you looking for someone?"

Sheriff turned around. "Jason sent me out to find you. He's getting worried, nobody's seen you all day."

"I wanted some time alone." I replied getting to my feet.

Sheriff turned and looked at the setting sun. "You and me both." He muttered.

I wondered what he was on about, but let it slide. Jason had said he didn't like to talk about his life before arriving in this town. I suddenly realised I didn't know what the town was called.

"Say, where are we?"

"Radiator Springs." Sheriff replied shortly.

"Thanks. I never saw what was written on that sign."

"We should be getting back."

I frowned as he returned to his car. I followed a little slower. There was definitely something bothering him.

We sat in silence during the short trip back. Sheriff stopped the car outside the café.

"How did you know I hadn't left?"

"Your car was still here. You won't get far without it."

"I won't get far with it unless I can get it fixed." I said casually as I opened the door. "I guess I'm not much of a mechanic after all."

* * *

Song Artist: Brad Paisley 


	2. Because of You

**A Hidden Past**

**Chapter 2 – Because Of You**

Everyone was in the café that night. I had been introduced to a few of the people there. Sarge turned out to be an army sergeant, while Fillmore was a peace-loving man. Their friendship struck me as odd. Then there were the two Italians, obsessed with Ferraris and white wall tyres, Flo's husband (I quickly learned he repainted his car at least once a week) who owned the body art shop next door to the café, and various others I didn't know yet. Jason told me it would be better to wait a few days before he introduced me to Red and Lizzie. I had briefly met Mater, but he was often out somewhere or other, or so I heard. The only person missing that night was Sheriff. He had driven off shortly after bringing me back to the town.

"How long has Sheriff been here?" I asked Jason quietly.

"About a year I think, why?"

"He doesn't seem particularly comfortable."

"He won't say what's bothering him. I've tired asking him several times before."

That was the impression I had got from him during out short meetings. He seemed like a nice enough bloke, just very distant. Whatever was on his mind was no little thing.

Silence fell upon the café. All eyes turned towards the door as Sheriff appeared with a stranger. I watched him cross the room and speak to Flo. The stranger shuffled into the light. I quickly turned my face away, hoping she wouldn't see me. Sheriff turned and gestured for her to join him at the bar. I watched her progress across the room, still with my face slightly averted.

"Excuse me." I whispered to Jason, quickly drained the rest of my drink and stood up to leave.

She looked in my direction as I left. I shot her a cold glare and continued on my way. The less I had to see that woman the better. I didn't miss the confused expressions on some of the townsfolk's faces as I went.

* * *

I managed to avoid her for several days, but I knew it wouldn't last for long. Flo had given me a room in the old Cozy Cone Motel in the town. It was a small motel, and unfortunately, the same place the latest visitor was staying.

It was once again evening when I next saw her. I was sitting outside the café for a change, as were most of the others. Conversation was relaxed and friendly at first. When she showed it, the atmosphere rapidly changed. I saw her approaching the café from the motel and got up to leave as usual. Unfortunately she was going to let me get away so easily.

"Doc." She caught my arm as we passed.

I turned slowly, making sure to show I wasn't pleased to see her.

"Why are you here?" I hissed.

"Am I not allowed to visit my son?"

"Just leave me alone." I wrenched my arm from her grip and stalked back to my motel room. I knew she didn't get the message. I never wanted to see her again after what she had done to me and my father.

I shut the door to my room rather forcefully and fell onto the bed. It wasn't the best room I had been in, or the brightest, but it would do. The walls were an odd shade of pale orange, and the carpet was brown. The curtains too were orange, though a little less of an odd shade. I stared at the picture on the wall for a moment. The knock on the door brought my gaze to it. I hoped it wasn't her trying to get me to talk to her.

I opened the door somewhat reluctantly and found Jason on the other side. Neither of us said anything for a moment. Instead we studied each other's appearance. His calm, green eyes said nothing to me. I was sure it was the complete opposite when it came to my eyes.

"What did you say to Michelle?" He asked eventually.

"I just told her to leave me alone. I'm fed of her following me everywhere." I returned to the bed and sat down heavily. "You wouldn't understand. I'm even sure I do, and I'm her son."

"Why don't you want to speak to her?"

"I sighed and lay back on the bed. Jason continued to watch me for a time before he pulled the door shut and left me in peace. I got up and went to the window. My room had a good view of the café. I saw him walk up to the rest and sit on the bench beside Flo and Michelle. He said something to the two women and Flo shook her head. I sighed again and drew the curtains. What I never saw was Jason looking towards the window as I disappeared from sight.

* * *

I rose with the birds the following morning. It was silent in the town. I took the opportunity to take a look at my battered car. I lifted the hood as quietly as I could and peered at the engine. My shabby repairs were obvious. It was one of those repairs that was causing the problem. I knew I would have to replace that part. I wondered if Mater had the appropriate part at his scrap yard. It would be some hours before anyone else was awake. I snuck off to the rock formation again.

I stopped on the hill above it and looked down at it. I could see what appeared to be a dirt track running in an oval around it. The rocks were in the centre of the track. Perhaps when my car was fixed I would take it for a test spin. I missed racing.

* * *

I hung around the track for a while before I turned and headed back into the town. By the time I got back to the café, the rest of the town had woken, including Michelle. I glanced at her and chose the table across the other side of the room. It didn't go unnoticed.

"Hey, man, what have you got against her." Fillmore asked me from the next table.

"I'd rather not say." I replied quietly.

Flo brought me the same order that I'd had every day before and left without a word. I guessed it was something to do with last night. For once nobody bothered me while I ate.

The volume rose visibly when I left. I rolled my eyes as Mater arrived outside the café.

"Hey, Mater."

"Howdy, bud. You's in big trouble."

"Tell about it. Can I drop by the yard later? I need a part for my car."

"Sure, buddy."

I watched Mater go into the café, feeling as though I'd just lost all of my friends, and then turned my back on the town. If they didn't want to talk to me, I would make it easy on them. I returned to the track for a few hours, retreating into the shade as the sun rose in the sky and brought heat with it.

* * *

Song Artist: Kelly Clarkson 


	3. A Window Into The Past

**A Hidden Past**

**Chapter 3 – A Window Into The Past**

I was lucky at Mater's scrap yard. He had scrapped a car like mine within the last few years and was able to scavenge the necessary parts from it. He also helped me to fix my car. I paid close attention to what he did so I could do it for myself if I had to at some point in the future. He suggested I take it for a test spin around the town. It felt wonderful. It was years since the car had last responded this well. Part of me was glad I had been shunned. I doubted my Hornet would have stood up to the tough racing conditions. I took it a little further a field for a short time. For now I stuck to the roads rather than take it down to the track. I followed the road I had come in on back to the level crossing. There I sat for a while before I turned and headed back to the town.

* * *

It was evening by the time I returned. I pulled up at the café and took one of the outside seats again. Jason and Sheriff sitting at the table on the other side of the door, but neither appeared to pay any attention to me…until Michelle appeared. She walked over to me again. I stood up, but didn't go anywhere this time.

"Doc, can we please talk?"

"What is there to talk about? You ruined my life."

"Please, Doc…"

"You don't get it, do you? I don't need you around. You're the reason why I crashed in the first place."

"What? I wasn't on the track when you crashed. I wasn't even in the stadium!"

"You knew I wanted nothing do to with you. Why don't you just leave me alone?" I snarled, my voice dangerously low. I turned and stormed off, angry with my mother and annoyed with myself. Whenever she appeared and tried to speak to me, it always ended in a fight.

I wrenched my car door open, got into the driver's seat and slammed it shut after me. I jammed the keys into the ignition and reversed out of the parking lot. I didn't know where I was heading; I simply followed the road, letting it take me to somewhere away from the town. The road was narrow, twisting and turning up the side of a hill and very steep in places.

* * *

I was some ten miles outside the town before I stopped. I pulled up outside and old, abandoned motel. Like my battered car, it looked like it had seen better days. I left the vehicle in the lengthening shadows and walked over to the edge of the cliff. I could see the lights of the town glinting in the valley. The evening sunlight caught the large glass front of the fire station. I shoved my hands into my pockets and stared down the side of the cliff.

It was a long, steep drop. Rocks and thorny bushes jutted out of the sides of the rock face. There had been times before when I wanted out, but those days were nothing compared to how I felt now.

I hated fighting with my mother, yet I couldn't seem to change that. My life had changed drastically when I crashed. I'd been racing, the final race of the championship. My mother had shown up right before the race started, and we got into our usual argument. There wasn't time for me to cool down before the race, and so I made some stupid mistakes. One of those mistakes had caused me to crash, and cost me my racing career.

I took a step forwards as a car crunched across the dirt and stopped by the motel. I was vaguely aware of a couple of people getting out of the car, but I paid no attention to them.

"This isn't the way, Doc."

I didn't know who I could trust any more. I knew I couldn't trust my mother to leave me alone, and I didn't know the people in the town well enough to be able to trust any of them. They had all been friendly towards me, but after that argument, right in front of them, who knew what they were thinking now.

"Doc, listen to me. This isn't what you want to do."

"There's nothing left for me. Nobody needs me." I took another step closer to the edge of the cliff.

"That's not true. There's a woman right down there that needs you, Doc."

"She was never around when I needed her. I never want to see her again. She just makes things worse." I muttered angrily. _She's got some nerve, just showing up, expecting me to accept her back. Why does she always follow me? I was fine without her._

"Don't you go making the same mistake that she did."

"I've had enough…I just want out…"

"Doc."

Sheriff's voice was demanding. I couldn't ignore him. I turned slightly to show I was listening.

"You're not alone. Other people have suffered too, and they're still going."

I caught the expression on Jason's face in the dim light. There was more going on here than I knew about, and more than they knew too.

"Come away from the edge, Doc." Jason said gently. He took a step towards me.

I automatically stepped backwards, closer to the edge of the cliff. I turned back to face the valley, no longer looking at the base of the cliff.

"Doc, just listen to me. If you still want to end it when I'm done, I won't stop you."

Something in Sheriff's voice made me stop, though I didn't turn around.

"I lost someone close to me recently. If it wasn't for Jason, and the others in that town down there, I wouldn't be here. They care, Doc. They hardly know me, and they still care. The same goes for you, and your mother. This isn't the way. You can sort your life out. I can't. Mine's as good as gone, but I'm not the one standing on the edge of the cliff."

I closed my eyes tightly. The memories came rushing back. My mother leaving my father, me trying desperately to care for my old father, my father's funeral, the fear that I wouldn't make it through school and get into college, the doctors telling me I wouldn't be able to race again…So what if I was older than most of the other racers, I'd still beaten them hadn't I?"

"It doesn't matter any more. Nobody cares." I looked straight at the horizon.

"I wouldn't be here trying to talk you out of this if I didn't care." Sheriff managed to get a few feet closer to me. "You've got your whole life ahead of you, Doc."

"I'm not exactly young any more, Sheriff." I sighed. "Besides, they've forced me out of the only thing I was good at. I couldn't even repair my car when I needed to. They turned their backs on me, just like _she_ did." Me voice rose to a shout. "All I wanted was to be able to prove myself to them, to show them I was still one of them. They told me my time was up without even giving me a chance. All I wanted was one sodding chance!" I screamed the last few words into the valley.

"You're not alone, Doc. There are two people who care right here. We can help you get your life back on track."

"It's been off track for two years." I muttered. "You'd be bloody lucky to change any of it now."

I felt Sheriff's eyes on me. He didn't say anything for a while. I wondered if he'd walk off without me knowing and leave me to it.

"There was a time when I wanted out myself. Times when I've wanted to just curl up and die."

I paused. "What could possibly make you want out?"

"I told you already. I lost someone very close to me…about three years ago now. I was so ready to give up. I travelled around the country for a couple of years, then I came up here and something snapped inside of me." Sheriff stopped speaking for a moment. "It was that lot down there that made me want to live again. Jason helped me to see my life could be happy again, even though she wasn't around any longer. It's your choice, Doc…I can't make it for you."

I looked down at the lights glistening in the valley below, then up at the moon and stars above me. We had been out for a lot longer than I realised. I closed my eyes again and took a hesitant step backwards.

"Come on, Doc, let's get you back to the town." Jason approached me cautiously.

"What about my car? I'm no leaving it up here all night."

"I'll take it back, if you'll let me." Sheriff offered.

I put my hand into pocket and tossed the keys to him. "Take care of her."

* * *

Song Composer: John Williams


	4. Here I Am

**A Hidden Past**

**Chapter 4 – Here I Am**

Jason stopped his Chrysler outside the surgery. I sat in the front passenger seat gazing up at the building.

"I've got a spare room in the back. You can stay here tonight."

I realised he didn't want me to be alone at the motel after what had just happened. I got out of the car slowly and followed him through the surgery to his living quarters. There he showed me to a room in the back of the building and left me alone with my thoughts. I spotted a chair in the corner of the room. I went over to it and sat down.

Now that the anger had gone, I felt a little guilty. I knew my mother wanted to speak to me, but I didn't really want her following me around the country as she had been doing for the last five years. Sometimes I got a few months break, other times she was there every single week, regardless of how far I had travelled.

* * *

The door to the room was still open a short way when Sheriff appeared in the corridor. I heard him knocking on Jason's bedroom door and then quiet, urgent voices. I went to the door and peered into the corridor, wondering what was going on. Jason looked in my direction and beckoned to me when he saw me.

"Perhaps you should come with me." He said as I joined the two men.

"What's going on?" I ran after them, Sheriff leading us towards the motel. I had seen the black medical bag in Jason's hand. Neither one answered my question.

Jason was the first to reach the motel. He slowed when he entered the corridor to the bedrooms. I suddenly realised what was going on. There was only one other person staying in the motel at the moment. I stopped dead in the middle of the corridor. I couldn't face going any further. I turned and went back into the parking lot. There were two Hudson Hornets parked in front of the reception building. My mother's blue-grey car was considerably less dirty than mine. I leaned on the hood of it, my eyes fixed on the doors into which Jason and Sheriff had disappeared.

I wasn't waiting long before someone appeared from within the building. I stood up quickly. Flo saw me and shot a harsh look in my direction.

"Is Michelle going to be all right?" I asked quietly as she passed.

Flo's expression softened. "I can't be sure. I'm not a doctor. It's Jason you need to speak to."

"Thank you." I replied. Just because I didn't like talking to my mother, it didn't mean I didn't care about her.

Flo crossed the road and returned to the café.

I waited another hour before I returned to the room Jason had given me for the night. I went back to sitting in the chair while I waited for him to return. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Before I knew it, the first light of morning had arrived. I awoke slowly, still sitting in the chair in the corner of the room. I had waited a long time for Jason to come back the night before, and had evidently fallen asleep at some point. I stretched lightly and yawned.

It was still too early for the café to be open, but I could still sit outside until more people arrived. Jason's bedroom door was closed when I passed it. He had left it open when Sheriff had come calling for him. I hovered for a moment before deciding I was too early to disturb him. I would wait for him at the café.

I didn't have to wait long for Flo to arrive at the café. She nodded to me as I followed her in and went to an empty table.

"Jason spent the night with Michelle. He asked me to tell you if you got her before him. I'm not sure where Sheriff is, probably by the sign as usual. It seems to be his favourite place." She came out with my usual order and put it in front of me.

Jason hadn't arrived by the time I was done. I took my empty plate and mug to Flo, told her I was going for a short drive and left.

I retrieved my car from outside the motel and took it back towards the top of cliff, though not because I wanted to end anything. I simply wanted somewhere quiet to do some thinking.

I followed the road through the woods and past the lake again. I hadn't noticed the waterfall last night. It cascaded down the side of the cliff into the pool beneath the road. I paused for a moment at the side of the waterfall before I carried on to the top. It wasn't much further up to the plateau where I had stopped the night before, and I wasn't the only one there either. I turned the corner onto the plateau and found Sheriff sitting at the edge of the cliff in his mercury cruiser. I hung back, watching him carefully. He showed no signs of what I had felt, so I left him to it.

* * *

By the time I returned to the town, it was gone midday. I had driven around a little rather than going straight back. My eyes fell on the door of the motel as I stopped my car and got out of it. I quickly locked it and headed for the room opposite mine.

The door was open a touch. I put my hand on it and opened it further. Jason looked up at me, though I didn't go any further than the doorway. Neither of us said anything in the five or so minutes that I stood there.

* * *

Song Artist: Leona Lewis 


	5. Words I Couldn't Say

**A Hidden Past**

**Chapter 5 – Words I Couldn't Say**

"Doc?"

I stood up and walked around the side of the rock formation. Jason was waiting for me on the hill overlooking the small track. He slid down the slope to meet me.

"Your mother's asking for you."

I blinked and stared at my dusty trainers.

"I've arranged for her to be taken to the city this evening. She needs proper medical care. I can't do much here. I don't have the right facilities."

"How is she?" I asked quietly.

"With the right care, she should be fine."

I turned around slowly and folded my arms across my chest.

"You should go to her, Doc. They'll be here in five hours."

I looked over my shoulder as he returned to his car and drove off. I supposed using a car to get out here was what everyone did, but not me; I was happy with my own two feet. I returned to the rock formation and slid down its side to sit at the base. I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them tightly. I wanted to go back and talk to her, but I didn't want to get into another argument with her.

* * *

I glanced at the setting sun, then at my watch. Jason's voice rang in my ears. _They'll be here in five hours._ I cursed loudly, leapt to my feet and ran off as fast as the sandy surface would let me.

Ten minutes later I turned onto the main road through the town, still running. My lungs burned, and my legs felt light jelly, but still I didn't stop.

There was an ambulance standing outside the motel with the back doors hanging open. I ran into the back of my car to stop myself running and leaned on it for a moment to catch my breath before I hurried into the building.

They were just about to leave when I got to the room. I stood back to let them go. My mother's gaze fell upon me as they took her outside.

"I'm sorry, Doc. I'm sorry for everything. I always loved you." Her voice drifted back to me as I followed them. "I never meant to hurt you, or upset you. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, son."

I watched them putting her into the back of the vehicle.

"I'm sorry too." I called, moments before they shut the doors. I couldn't be sure that she'd heard me; I could only hope that she had.

I moved into the middle of the road when they drove off, watching the dust rising behind them. It was in that moment that I realised what I should have said, what I would have said if my courage hadn't failed me. I turned my back on the town and went back into the motel. I didn't go to my room, but to the room my mother had been given.

* * *

"Jason wants to see you." Flo told me when I went for breakfast the following morning. "He said he's going to be in his office all morning. You can just go straight in."

"Did he say what it was about?"

"No, but he didn't look too happy."

I wondered if I'd done something wrong until reasoning caught up with me. If I had done something wrong, it would be Sheriff wanting to see me, not Jason.

I waited until midmorning before I went to see him. I had never been into Jason's office before, so it took me a while to find it. Once I had located it, I knocked on the door and waited for him to call me in.

"Flo told you then?"

"Yes. What's going on?"

"Perhaps you should sit down."

"I'm okay."

He sighed. "Please, just sit down."

I sat. Silence fell between us. I didn't want to ask again, and he clearly didn't want to say what it was that he had called me in for.

"I got a phone call from a colleague earlier…in the city. He was asking for next of kin for Michelle."

I couldn't look at him any more. I knew hospitals always wanted to know next of kin when a bad case came in.

"It was…it was too late for her. They did everything they could…I'm sorry, Doc."

"You said she would be all right with the proper medical care." I muttered. "You told me she would be all right."

"I'm sorry."

I found I didn't want to hear it. I stood up and left in silence.

Her car was still parked next to mine. I walked over to it and leaned on the hood. It was the only connection to her that I had left. I went back into her room and stopped. It seemed so hollow, so empty, or perhaps that was just me. All those times I'd had to make things right, and I'd wasted them all. I wandered around the room slowly. Something on the windowsill caught the sunlight. Her car keys. I picked them up. The key ring held a familiar picture. One of the few days when we had been a whole, happy family. I turned back to the room, still holding the keys. The words I had never got a chance to say came back to me.

"I love you, mum." I whispered to the otherwise silent room. I closed my hand around the keys and crossed the corridor to my room.

* * *

Several hours later I could be found at the dirt track a short way out of the town. For once I had brought my car with me, and now I was letting off steam. I wasn't aware of anyone watching me until I came back around to the 'start line' and saw someone leaning against a car at the top of the hill. I brought the car to a well-practiced stop and got out slowly. As the dust settled, Jason's figure became clearer. He half walked, half slid down the slope to me.

"How long were you watching?" I asked, leaning on the top of the driver's door.

"Only a few minutes. Long enough to see how well you can control a car."

"I've had years of practice. I just wish I'd put the practice in place three years ago. Maybe I wouldn't be here if I had."

"How did you crash?"

"I was in a race…my mother showed up right before the start, we fought. I was in no state to go out and race, but I still did. I wasn't concentrating, put the car into the barrier.2

"I thought I recognised you. Doc Hudson, right? The Fabulous Hudson Hornet?"

_Oh great. _"Yeah, that's me." I sighed. "I was trying not to let people find out."

"They're bound to find out sooner or later."

"I'm hoping for later." I muttered, getting back into my car.

"Don't worry, the others haven't worked it out yet." He said. "I won't be telling them either, but you should."

"I can't. I've lost too much already."

* * *

Song Artist: Rascal Flatts 


	6. Better In Time

**A Hidden Past**

**Chapter 6 – Better In Time**

_I turned into the final corner of the track, going well over one hundred and fifty miles and hour. The tyres of my car stuck to the tarmac as I caught up the car in first place. We came out of the corner together. I tried to hold the car to the inside of the track, but I was forced to run wide. I held it back and cut between two cars. I sped up again and caught up with the leaders going into the next corner. I kept to the outside of the track and floored the accelerator. I just managed to inch ahead coming out of the turn and held it for the rest of the lap._

"_You're doing great, Doc." My crew chief's voice crackled over the radio._

_I didn't reply. Instead I took my anger out on the track. We were only half way through the race, which left plenty of time for mistakes. Some drivers had already made theirs. Mine came on the next lap. I turned into the second corner as another car appeared beside me. I quickly adjusted my steering as he drifted closer to me. I adjusted it too much. My front wheel hit the edge of the track. I held it together for as long as I could, but it was no use. In seconds the car was flipping onto the grass on the inside of the track._

"_Doc!" My crew chief shouted in my ear. "Come on, Doc, answer me!"_

"Doc…Doc."

I jerked away. Jason was hovering over me. I closed my eyes and pulled the covers up to my chin. Ever since my mother's death, I had stayed in bed late in to the morning. I could see Jason was getting worried. I wondered if that was why he was there.

"I think we need to talk." He said, perching on the side of my bed.

"There's nothing to talk about." I rolled onto my side.

"Doc, you've been hiding in this room for the last two weeks. The only time we see you is when you go to the café. You order a drink to take out and disappear until the next day when you do the same thing. I think you need to talk about it."

"I'd rather not." I mumbled into my pillow.

"I know talking about it will help. Come by my office later. I can spare a few hours."

I didn't even look around as he left.

I couldn't see Jason in the café when I got there a few hours later. I took a quick look around before I went to the bar to order my usual coffee. For once I decided to get something to eat too. I hadn't been eating well since that day.

"Afternoon, Doc." Flo greeted me pleasantly. "The usual?"

"Sure. I'll take a sandwich too. Ham salad, hold the mayonnaise."

She looked surprised, but filled my order without question. I gave her the money and made to return to my room. As I was on my way out, Jason was on his way in.

"Come and see me when you're done." He said quietly.

I glanced at him and carried on my way.

* * *

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A voice on the other side called 'come in'. I turned the handle and opened the door nervously. I knew he expected me to talk to him, but what were we going to talk about? He knew how I felt about racing now, and I wasn't willing to talk about recent events.

"Hello, Doc. I wasn't sure you heard me earlier."

I grunted and sat in the chair facing the desk. The last time I had sat there, Jason had given me some bad news.

"Nothing bad this time." He seemed to read my mind. "Just a friendly chat."

"About what?"

"Whatever you want."

I grunted again, slouched in the chair and said precisely nothing.

"I know you cared about her, Doc. I saw you watching us that first time she tried to talk to you."

I turned away. This was still a sensitive area for me.

"Doc, you've got to talk about it."

"No, I haven't." My voice echoed around the room. "I haven't _got_ to talk about _anything_."

I crossed the room in three steps, wrenched the door open and stormed away. I went straight to my car and just like the night I had driven up to the top of the cliff, I drove off without bothering to adjust the mirrors, the seat or anything else in the car. I didn't even bother with my seat belt. I didn't go to the cliff this time, but to the track. I knew what sort of injuries a car crash could give. I sped down the track and flew along the straight. A large, very steep hill acted as a barrier at the first corner. I didn't bother to turn into the corner as I gave it some more gas. Almost the moment the car touched the side of the hill I was thrown into unconsciousness.

* * *

"Bloody hell, Doc. Are you trying to kill yourself?"

The voice was distant, but I was sure I wasn't imagining it. This amount of pain didn't come with imagining things.

"Careful how you move it, Mater."

I was lying on my back. The surface beneath my hands felt loose. I groaned quietly.

"I swear, Doc, you're nuts."

"No." I managed to whisper. "I'm not."

"I've never known anyone drive straight at a nearly vertical wall of rock like that before."

"I don't – "

"We've been through this before, Doc. You've got plenty left to live for." Jason said harshly. "You're just too bloody blind to see it."

"I loved her…I never told her." I opened my eyes to the blue sky. The pain was making me nauseous.

"She knew." His voice softened considerably. "She knew more than you think."

He pressed something to my head and held it there while he wound something else around it. I lay still while he did a lot of first air to me.

"Mater, I'm going need a hand."

"Watcha need me ter do?"

"I need to get him back to the surgery. Do you have anything that can act like a stretcher?"

"I got a plank o' wood."

"It'll do."

I felt myself slipping back into the unconscious state. My vision went fuzzy as I closed my eyes.

* * *

I woke some time later with a groan and a harsh cough that made everything hurt again.

"You're bloody crazy."

"You told me." I gasped. "Just give me some flaming pain killers already."

I rolled onto my side as another coughing fit took my breath away. Jason put something over my face while darkness threatened to take me again. It took me a few minutes to regain control of my breathing.

"You could have killed yourself back there."

"That was the intention." I replied, discovering the thing on my face was an oxygen mask. "You wouldn't understand."

"I might not, but I'm sure Sheriff does. He wouldn't come anywhere near the crash site. I've not seen him since, and that was two days ago."

I groaned again and fell onto my back with a wince. "What's the damage?"

"Broken ribs, severe concussion, broken leg and lots of bruising. You're lucky it's not worse."

The broken ribs explained the hideous pain in my chest when I coughed.

"How's the car?"

"Wrecked. Mater's taking care of it. He seemed to think you would want to repair it yourself."

* * *

"Good morning, Doc."

I looked around. Flo had appeared with breakfast for me and Jason. It seemed to have become routine in the few weeks that I had been confined to the hospital part of the surgery. I had been getting quite bored, so one time when Jason wasn't around and Flo was, I asked her to get me a book from the side. There were a number of bookcases around the walls. She picked one off at random and passed it to me, looking rather guilty about it. I now put the book to one side as she put my breakfast on the table at the side of my bed.

Being confined to the hospital had been one way to get me talking to Jason. It was the first thing I had tried to stop myself getting so bored. So far I'd told him a lot about my family, and a lot about my mother. I had discovered that it lessened the emotional pain considerably, though it still hurt a lot.

"Hello, Flo." Jason appeared from a side room. "Ah, breakfast, excellent."

He took his breakfast from her and perched on the bed beside mine as she headed back to the café. He spotted the book on the corner of the table.

"So that's where it went."

"Uh…"

"Don't worry. Flo told me where it was after you asked her to get a book for you to read. I'd be surprised if you can understand it."

I opened the brown paper bag and examined what Flo had brought for me. "I trained as a doctor at college. I never started practicing though, not once I discovered racing."

"How well did you do at college?"

"Okay, I guess. I wasn't one of the top students, but I passed everything with decent marks. Why?"

"I'll be leaving here soon. My retirement is coming up, and I've had an offer from a friend in the city to go and work for him. They're going to need a new doctor here before I go. If you want, I'll get you used to practicing for a couple of months by my side before I go to the city for the rest of my working life. I might return here after that, though nothing is certain."

"I won't be well enough for a while yet. How can I possible practice by your side when I can hardly leave my bed?"

"I can test you on what you know. There are plenty of books here. Then when you're well enough, we'll practice together for a while. What do you say?"

I thought it over. My father had done everything he could to make sure I would be able to go through college. I continued on that path when he died. My mother too had wanted me to go to college. She had told me she was at my graduation, though I never saw her there. Thinking of my parents made my heart ache. I knew there was no way I would be able to return to racing, even if there was a team out there that would take me. After too bad crashes, I wasn't fit enough. Maybe following the career path I had started on before racing was the answer. I looked at the cover of the thick book with new determination. There were people that still cared, people that were willing to help me. The least I could do was return their help.

"I'll do it."

* * *

Song Artist: Leona Lewis 


End file.
